It has been a difficult weekend. Fluffy Bunny having returned from a school trip to the other end of the island for three days, during which time I heard nothing from the school and had been lulled into a false sense of security, believing that all had gone well....I should have known better!
How many cocky young male PE teachers does it take to supervise a bunch of half a dozen reasonably compliant eleven and twelve-year-olds? Is it a good idea to let eleven-year-old boys buy four coffees and a couple of cokes each from the local shop and then expect them to sleep at night? Well, being on a school trip, away from home for the first time I wouldn't have expected them to sleep anyway. Who do they think they are dealing with? The cloned progeny of the international Stepford Wives brigade? I am beginning to see that I should have spotted the resemblance earlier. I restrained myself from saying anything on Friday for fear of total ostracism from the mainstream and very conformist school and ex-pat community.
The cause may not have been helped on saturday morning after footie, when having lost the cup final and been fouled relentlessly by a member of the opposing team, Fluffy decided to take matters into his own hands. During the post-match line up to shake hands and do the decent sporting thing, Fluffy substituted a handshake for a quick dig in the stomach. Bad move which the eagle-eyed, over-protective parent spotted and I didn't! The first I knew about it was when the back of a balding, fat, Cypriot male head pointing fingers aggressively at my son came into view, from the other end of the pitch. Naturally, at this point I had to intervene...
It started well, with a civilised, 'Is there a problem?' And ended with him threatening to hit me, after I called him a wanker and a sexist pig. And this was not a gross generalisation or assumption based on the fact that he is Cypriot and male, there is a history there. He is one of those parents who stands at the sidelines every week and shouts crap intructions really aggressively, clearly doesn't like and never has liked me because I have been quite successfully coaching my son's team and beating his son's team at every opportunity until this week and let's face it, I am a woman. But at the end of the day, what it really comes down to is just this; my son has a lot more talent than his!