bitter lemmings

school's out

Well, because of the disgusting levels of heat, already and it is only mid June, school has naturally finished for the summer. So we have almost thirteen weeks holiday to look forward to and nothing to do. Fluffy bunny is moping round the house all day, wearing his warmest winter joggin gear and hoddies, proclaiming to anyone who will listen that he wants to be 'black' and is now referring to himself as a 'wigger' and the teenager from hell daughter with attitude spends all day texting her friends and arranging social engagements that I need to drive her too. last night I went on strike and when she called at 10pm to be picked up from McDonald's I told her to walk, thinking it would teach her a lesson; a good forty minutes walk through the streets of Strovolos would give her time to think. Naturally, half an hour later, her friend's mum came to the rescue and picked her and her friend up and now obviously thinks I am the mother from hell, totally irresponsible and a right cow because I am not doing my fair share of the driving!

At least the angelic five-year-old still has another two weeks of school to go before he starts turning into a demanding, whinging monster with a social life and expectations. Why can't they just organise a decent bus service in Nicosia? In fact why can't they organise any sort of public transport. Why? Because no one thinks about things like town planning, health and education policies, they spend all their time going on about the bloody Cyprus problem!

schools are bad for you, at least in cyprus!

John Holt once famously wrote, in his book, "How Children Fail," "We encourage children to act stupidly, not only by scaring and confusing them, by filling up their days with dull, repetitive tasks that make little or no claim on their attention or demands on their intelligence. Our hearts leap for joy at the sight of a roomful of children all slogging away at some imposed task, and we are all the more pleased and satisfied if someone tells us that the children don't really like what they are doing. We tell ourselves that this drudgery, this endless busywork, is good preparation for life, and we fear that without it children would be hard to 'control'." How true!

I am absolutley sick and tired of the private school sector in Cyprus and let's not even ask why they don't go to state schools; apart from crap standards, just about the worst in Europe and the language issue there is the evidence of racism and indoctrination we saw during the referendum campaign! So what are the options? We have tried a fair few of the schools and guess what they are all pretty disappointing too in their own very unique ways. But unlike schools in the UK where you can at least read an OFSTED report first and know what you are dealing with, here you only find out once you have joined the ranks of variously disappointed but conspiratorially silent, seething but won't say anything because of fear that the alternatives are worse or it's just too unacceptable to keep quiet. Being in the latter camp is not easy and leads one to the point of doing the only honourable thing every couple of years and trying them all until you find one that is half-way decent...so naturally, we are still doing the rounds and currently at the point of I think it is time to move again.

Spoilt brats or no when you pay a school a lot of money to educate your child you expect them to at least attempt to pretend they are offering the kids some reasonable teaching and a half-way decent curriculum, if a limited choice of subjects and you expect them to take parents' concerns on board and have a dialogue. It seems to be the case here though that if you are one of those 'difficult' parents like me that knows something about education and asks a few questions when nothing like expectations are being met the response seems to be universally the same, shut up or get out. A head teacher actually told me yesterday, 'this is not a free school you know, we don't have to take anyone!' Clearly not a free school I pointed out, we pay a lot of money for the privilege or having our kids taught badly..........

Or perhaps I just got it all wrong, as Kostos reminded me in his recent comment, it was Aristotle and Plato that gave the world civilisation, culture, maths etc. Obviously schools here haven't moved on since, even though if I am not mistaken they were part of an ancient Athenian elite, I didn't know Plato was actually born and educated in Nicosia! All I can say is thank god he wasn't or where would the world be now?

we're in the news but not for the right reasons!

Finally, Cyprus has had a bit of international news coverage with about 150 foreign correspondents camped out all week waiting for the historic vote yesterday in the referenda that would have meant that the border, the green Line in Nicosia, Europe's last divided capital city, would have been removed. But this was no Berlin Wall celebration. The Turkish Cypriots voted yes, overwelmingly and guess what, three quarters of the Greek Cypriots voted no. This was a triumph of hatred, nationalism, small-mindedness, sheer stupidity and a lack of vision over logic, rational debate and good political judgement on the part of the GCs. Soooooooooo predictable!

Anyone who saw the hundreds of school children marching for political oblivion this week could not have failed to notice, what we always suspected, the education system here breeds lemmings and indoctrinates kids to hate. In what normal country do teenagers demonstrate in favour of things the establishment and their parents stand for. At a time when they should be out throwing stones at the police and breaking drug and alcohol laws and having casual sex, thesse guys only get animated about hating the Turks, that they have surely never met, any foreigners in fact, getting back homes they have never seen and wanting to support their joke of a president, who is not only a devious liar, Turk hater, known supporter of Milosovic and a man with a very big nose and a penchant for crying on TV. It is a crying shame that we have to live in this country, but my suspicion is that when the EU gives them the cold shoulder, the UN packs its bags next week and they start to realise the full weight of the consequences of ther actions, anyone wth a brain, which looks like about one in four of the voting population, will be out of here..............

useful ways to spend my time

Living here means regularly waking up to the BBC news to realise you have missed some major world or local-to-home event that you would never have missed had you been at home, such as, the Grand National, The London Marathon, The Rebecca Loos Kiss'n'tell interview, The Baftas, etc etc.

Never mind! This morning I consoled myself by walking to school with Fluffy Bunny, along the main Strovolos Avenue. It was very educational for two reasons. Firstly, the opportunity to enlighten Fluffy about the ways of the world; we're not talking casual sex and hard drugs, as he obviously knows all about that but I am talking political activism. Secondly, it clarified just how blinkered drivers are here when it comes to pedestrians. Between us we ripped down at least five 'Oxi' placards prominently stuck to lamposts all along the main road. We were clearly never in danger from other pedestrains as no-one ever walks anywhere but given the level of tension over this issue and the apparent numbers of thugs in the Oxi camp it was suprising that no one even gestured at us, let alone got out of their car to smack me one. How did they not see us? What were they doing sat on the main road in almost no-motion, slow-motion?

There was one big sign at a roundabout, wired up at the roadside. There was no chance of getting that one down discretely but no worries, have plans to get some spray paint and take Bunny back later after dark for the sake of his education................

they're frying our brains

Well, the good news is that now that the yes (nai) campaign has started, almost everyone has something plastered all over the front of their windscreens; so what are the chances of Cyprus having the highest rate of road death and or road rage accidents in Europe, when we finally get there! But naturally, the yes campaigners are far more sensible than the no compaigners; they stick their 'nai' stickers on their sun visors so that a) they do not obscure their view when driving and b) you can hide it when not in the car and avoid having the car trashed by a bunch of neandothol 'oxi' campaigners. 'Oxi' moron has become a by-word for any wanker with his kids jumping around on the front seat of his car, not strapped in, anyone driving at twice the legal limit, inches behind you on the motorway, flashing his lights and bibbing his horn and any pratt that cuts you up on the inside on a busy main road in town and then swears at you for being a foreigner in his lovely almost european country.

So, yes, the 'oxi' lot are pretty stupid. Given the amount of people in this half of a country with a university degree from the UK, US or anywhere half decent it is amazing the amount of people who are seriously intellectually challenged. The only conclusion one can come to is that having a degree is not all it is cracked up to be. On the other hand perhaps it is all down to the British and Nato frying our brains with microwave transmittors as part of their masterplan to stir up the Greek Cypriots into a state of frenzied anger against the Turks with the sole perpose of causing a war in the region. Why? So that they have an excuse to bomb Turkey and take it over.................? This is the David Ike theory and if you believe that.................

Either way, when there is a resounding no vote to the A**** plan next weekend, the EU will have to think seriously about whether or not they really did want them in their club and what they are going to do about them once they have let them in. The only positive outcome is that any real europeans with a brain will be forced to leave, so there is hope for us all yet. The last one to leave, switch out the light, as the Sun famously once said....................

the oxi campaign

Why do people stick great big signs in their windscreens?
We know that 'oxi,' or oxo as we have taken to calling it, means 'no' and we all know what people want to say no to but isn't the death rate from raod accidents high enough here? Talk about bury your head in the sand; bury your head in the windscreen more like........................

it's too hot

The same visiotrs come every year for easter and every year it rains. Last year we rented a villa in Polis, the only natural beauty spot on this side of the isalnd. It was a great spot but naturally it rained every day.

This year it has been in full sizzle mode from day one and we are stuck in Nicosia. What is there to do in Nicosia in 32 degrees that does not involve water? Are there any pools open? No. It is still winter according to Cypriots, the municipal pool won't open for at least a month, it needs to be 45 degrees for Cypriots to go to swim. There are hotel pools that cost a fortune. Let's hope it rains. What is there to do in Nicosia if the weather is bad. The problem is, the answer is the same; sod all. Why do we bother living here at all and why do people want to visit us?

the art of conversation has been murdered

Spent three hours on the beach this afternoon. Hubby spent two and a half of them on the mobile discussing the latest crisis in the cyprob. What would have happened in the days before mobiles? Is it a good thing to get instant access to news, information, anyone at any time or has the art of conversation (face to face) been murdered?

What will anyone talk about when the cyprob has been solved? It won't be, otherwise there'll be no need for any conversation at all in this place for the next thirty years!

what's up doc?

Complain about the NHS, most people here do, even though they clearly haven't used it for the last fifteen years. A trip to the general hospital here will bring you to your senses and will certainly make you ill if you weren't already and you still have to pay. Just think, Dickens, workhouses, third world; so much for a better standard of living. The only other option is private doctors adn clinics. The problem with private, of course, is that it can get very expensive if you can't diagnose what is wrong with you before you go.

Naturally, everyone is a highly trained specialist, they just don't happen to be working at specialist level. I mean, how many times do you need to see a paediatrician to tell you your kid has got tonsilitis? And if that is what a paediatrician spends almost all his time (and yes, most doctors here are men) dealing with, what makes him a paediatrician and not a GP?

Today, was a classic case in point. I took the Princess to the doctor's because of problems with the vocal chords, probably caused by enlarged adenoids and the odd sneaky cigarette. Exactly the diagnosis. Five minutes later and £15 out of pocket, I left with the number of a supposed ENT specialist. Another afternoon wasted and another two hours in the car, even though, from a driving pioint of view, things are supposed to get easier in the holidays!

there's a queue here love

Have just seen the visitors off at Larnaca airport.Attractive emmm.

McDonald's for tea because it is easy and fast, although we know all the arguments against it. Well, it would be fast food anywhere else in the world but when you queue for ten minutes and then someone walks straight in and jumps to the front of the queue, it makes you want to kill, or at least give them a good slap. Instead I march up and say, "excuse me, we are queueing here you know." And naturally they look at me as if I have just landed from the planet Zarg. It happens all the time. Is it just the British who are very anal about queueing and what is wrong with queueing anyway? We obviously accept a certain level of instant gratification as a good thing, or we wouldn't be in McDonald's in the first place but there are limits!